Discernment, Babies and Bathwater

 When I was younger in my faith, black and white thinking was the method in which I engaged with the world, and myself for that matter. If I agreed with someone, I agreed with all they had to say about everything. If I disagreed with someone, I disagreed with all they had to say about everything. 

A teacher was either "Biblical" or they weren't. Their theology was either totally right, or totally wrong. Their politics were either right or...well, left. 

This kind of thinking is easy. It requires little effort. And for a perfectionist like me, it gave me a sense of being "good" in the midst of so much fear that I was bad. The only complicated part was simply figuring out who to listen to, and who not to. 

For example, I read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye in 1997, at the age of 15.  Much of what Harris teaches in this book has long been refuted, he himself even apologizing for its content (which takes such tremendous courage and I commend him for that). However damaging the book has been for many (myself included), it wasn't completely devoid of truth. In fact, that book lead me to a relationship with Jesus.  And because part of it was true, I believed all of it to be Gospel truth.  

The opposite can be said as well. Jen Hatmaker's book, For the Love came out in 2015 and I loved it. After reading her book Seven, I decided Jen Hatmaker was one to follow! So I did - on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter- everywhere. But then, in 2016, she came out as being LGBTQ+ affirming and my little conservative, right-leaning heart just couldn't. So, I unfollowed her.  Because she was wrong about this one thing, she could no longer be trusted at all.

What is missing in both of those scenarios is discernment. The ability to detect nuance and grasp the obscure.  A lack of discernment only allows someone to see the contradictions in things, the "either/or" of it all. However, discernment can grasp onto what is true no matter it's source. 

When we reject the perspective of anyone who is deemed one of "them," we forfeit an incredible opportunity to learn from someone else and we decide they are unusable by God.

Truth is truth and it all comes from God, no matter the earthly source or whether or not they identify God as the author of truth. And no human is infallible - only God is. Therefore, even the most devout of us will get it wrong sometimes and right others.  

Even in a held opinion there is so much nuance. For example, I do not believe that the Bible affirms homosexual relationships. However, I also do NOT see anything in the Bible that would suggest ostracizing or demeaning those who identify as gay, simply because they do so.  I believe all are created in the image of God and are worthy of love and safety and belonging. When they can't find that in the church because we're ill equipped to hold two truths at the same time, we've gotten it all wrong. 

Black and white thinking keeps us caged in a system of performance and legalism. Holy Spirit driven discernment frees us from that cage and allows us to engage with a hurting world, they way Jesus did. Rather than create an "us against them" dynamic, Jesus moved in closer to the "sinners" of society- He knew that there was something true in them- it was Himself, His image. 

Black and white thinking also allows pride to grow like a cancer in our hearts. It breeds shame and ultimately disconnection. God gave us brains capable of so much more - a brain that can experience empathy while still maintaining a deeply held belief.  A brain that can think critically, self-reflect and learn new patterns of thinking and behaving. 

To be "in the world and not of it" is to be set apart but not disconnected.  It is the ability to hold two seemingly opposing truths at the same time, like "image bearer" and "sinner" and wrestle WITH God until He helps you see that they are in fact, not a contradiction at all. 

I recently listened to a podcast with Jen Hatmaker and Beth Moore and let me tell you, girl got so much right! There was such truth in her words - and so much hurt.  And I benefitted from listening to it because to recognize the truth in her words didn't mean I had to abandon any other truth. 

Meanwhile, even Joshua  Harris was not able to remain in the very truth he wrote about almost 25 years ago, having left the faith entirely and divorcing his wife. His own black and white thinking disconnected him from his faith.

Let's exercise our discernment muscles.  I challenge you to read a book or listen to a podcast by someone you've deemed "other" in your mind (within reason - this isn't your excuse to read 50 Shades of Gray).  Ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment as you engage - notice the feelings in your body when you see or hear something that doesn't sit right. Ask yourself "why isn't this sitting right? Is it because this is not truth or is it something else? Is it my own pride?" And if you're not sure - stop, pray and research!  Apply some academic effort and critical thinking to your study of the Word and watch yourself grow!